Stardate 1329.1

Entry I: An Analysis of Mr. Harcourt Fenton Mudd and the Faults of the Human Race  

Recent events aboard the U.S.S. Enterprise have merely served to prove once again that humans are illogical, irrational, and, at the risk of not being entirely scientific, irritating.  I must confess I find myself aware of such 'emotions' from time to time; my continued interaction with humans seems to have caused a certain level of contamination.

On the subject of contamination; I have discovered a new 'contaminant' aboard.  One "Doctor Leonard McCoy".  If not for the comparison of an even more irrational presence arriving within approximately 409 Earth hours of the Doctor, I would have believed I had discovered the most illogical human currently in existence.  However, my analysis is, as of yet, incomplete. There are far too many variables to make an exact determination.

The creature in question, who arrived on the ship 17 days and one hour after the Doctor McCoy, quickly proved himself a somewhat interesting, if almost entirely predictable, specimen of his kind.

Mr. Harcourt Fenton Mudd of Earth initially gave his name as Leo Walsh, a statement that quickly revealed itself as a falsehood. He came aboard with three women, who seemed to have a mesmerizing effect on the crew, including Captain Kirk, and especially the highly emotional Doctor McCoy.  I fail to understand the strange reactions the crew had.  Interestingly, one of the women interacted with me in a strange manner; by Mr. Mudd's response, I can only hypothesize that she attempted to recreate the strange hold she had over the human crew on me. Needless to say, she was unsuccessful.  Mr. Mudd told the human woman to "save it"; however, I am still uncertain as to what, precisely, she was saving.

Upon the discovery of Mr. Harcourt Fenton Mudd's true nature, he was questioned by the senior officers, utilizing the computer's lie detecting function.  The inquiry was led by myself, and it quickly became apparent that the human was all but entirely incapable of speaking the truth.  He also seemed to be highly frustrated by the computer's logical responses to his lies. One would almost have thought that the responses surprised him, as though he expected the computer to act in a manner contrary to its nature and not perform its primary function. Which was, at that precise moment, to reveal the truth (or lack thereof) of Mr. Mudd's statements.  Most illogical.  


While I have found, in my dealings with humans, that their race is almost consistently illogical, and therefore responses of this nature should be considered expected much of the time; I still find their responses unsettling.  What purpose was there behind lying, when he knew the computer's primary function was to reveal the falsehoods?  He could not expect to fool the machine.  

Upon further reflection, perhaps he did expect it. His irrational outburst, "blast that tin-plated pot", certainly seemed to imply that he felt betrayed by the computer.  A completely illogical reaction, when one considers the computer is incapable of such emotion.  A strange choice of words, as well.  The computer is not composed in any part of that material, nor is it in any way included or referenced in the definition of a pot, as defined in the ship's reference banks: "-a container of earthenware, metal, etc., usually round and deep and having a handle or handles and often a lid, used for cooking, serving, and other purposes." (dictionary.com) I fail to see his purpose in referring to the computer as an object that it clearly is not.

Overall, I find this man to be a prime example of the irrational and illogical reactions I have come to expect from his race. Despite much pondering and meditation, and a thorough analysis of the circumstances, I have been unable to come to a satisfactory conclusion of my study.

Perhaps I shall ask Doctor McCoy.  His brain seems to work in a similar manner.


Spock out.